It was rather a peaceful normal day. Noise in the city and peace in the outskirts. Nothing in the world could ever be peaceful as that moment. But in a container yard lies all kinds of large containers. But in one of those containers, there was a mysterious man being chained up. He was yelling for help but couldn't hear as the wall of the container is so thick and sound waves tend to reflect back into the container. Someone opened the door of the container. The man felt terrified as light shone into the container. He kept on shouting "Who the heck am I?" The guy that opened the door just stared at him and threw a wallet towards that chained-up man and leave with the door wide open. The man then took the wallet, opened it and saw an ID card along with a few thousand bucks.
In the ID, it stated:-
Alex Wong
Age : Unknown
Sex : Unknown (Preferable to be Male)
Alex went to the building as indicated on the name card. He entered with a flip-flop, short green trousers and a Hawaii t-shirt, walking around black suit businessmen and sexy hot businesswomen. He walked to the security guard, who was kind of busy talking on the phone and said, "Er. I want to meet this guy named Alex Wong." The security guard looked up and got a shock of his life. He then slammed the phone and apologies for using the company's telephone service to call his beloved overseas. Alex got scared for a moment, wondering what's going on. The security guard then lead him to his office at the 13th floor of the company. The room was rather gloomy, dark and kind of empty at first sight.
The security guard then slided his card beside the door, activating all the windows and electronics devices. It then looked as though he was the richest man on Earth. Before the security guard left, he then mentioned, "Mr Wong, you have a package. It's just beside your PS3 near your 32-inch Sony Plasma TV."
Alex then went to grab the package. In it was a Sony Playstation Portable with a white earphone and a note saying, "Play Heroes Lore 2 now." He took the PSP, switch it on and went to play to Heroes Lore 2. As he was playing a hero by the name of Ronin, he found a hidden message within it. He used Ronin to go to the weapon shop and talk to the guy next to the keeper. The guy advised to put on the earphones at that moment and talk to the barkeeper at the south. Alex followed the message and did so. Then, the PSP screen went black and suddenly JAVA applet was then activated. It was written at that screen, Mission Improbable Team. Then a voice appeared. "Mr Alex Wong, do you have to accept this mission?"
Alex was at first surprised and shouted back, "Who the heck are you? And I'm not Alex Wong for the thousand times. And I ain't accepting it."
Voice : Who cares. You have no authority over in this mission and forced to participate in this mission, Mr Alex Wong.
Alex : What the .....
Voice : Your mission is to get intelligence on the President of Vastdick Enterprise. It's to be said that the President has been up to no good. No pictures of him were taken up to date.
Alex : So...
Voice : Yes, you have to get this guy's identity and history background. However, be warned of the danger you shall pass through just to meet him.
Alex : How hard can that be?
Voice : You will found out sooner. Anyway, under your Plasma TV, contains a paper bag, containing a BB gun, fully loaded with 250 bullets and a Tranquilizer gun with only 1 dart. Be cautious and wary at all cost.
Alex : No more other suggestions?
Voice : Er, just this. You're GAY.
Alex : WHAT THE ...
Written on the screen, "This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds."
Alex panicked, don't know what to do with it. He then tossed it in his aquarium, and BOOM! The aquarium exploded, spilling almost a gallon of water all over the white carpet alongside with the rare exotic fishes that was almost worth US$ 100,000. Alex was furious and shouted, "WHY?! WHY?! WHY THE PSP?!!!"
After all of that, he then took the package with the weapons. As he tried to put the BB gun in his pants, the BB gun shot his pimple below. He then felt immediate pain and shouted. As he was recovering, he then searched for the Vastdick Enterprise through the Internet in a local Asia Cafe CyberCafe. It was located somewhere in Europe. So, he booked a flight to United Kingdom.
On the plane to UK, he met a nice Japanese guy, named Hong Yi. He then asked Hong Yi of his purpose to go UK. Hong Yi then replied, "Hush. Don't tell anyone this." Alex closely open his ears wide. Hong Yi said, "I was sent to save a cheerleader in UK. The prophecy has told me, 'Save the cheerleader. Save the world.' So I must be the hero to save the cheerleader in order to save the world." Alex was about to burst to laughter. 'He? Hero? HAHA' he thought. "You think I can't? I show you what I am capable of," said Hong Yi. He then blinked his eyes hard and poof!
Alex felt as though nothing had happen but as fact he did. Alex then laughed out loud and went to the toilet. The people in the plane took a glance at Alex and some started laugh as some tried avoiding contact with him. Alex was butt-naked on the plane. Hong Yi stopped time and took his pants and underwear off, throwing it outside the plane. So during the whole flight, Alex was in the toilet, being butt-naked.
To be continued... Keep updated.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
A Horror Story(2/2)
*read part 1/2 first ok*
11:24 pm
Alex : As you all know, I am not very careful with my belongings. Remember Mr. Lai's extra class? We had BBQ that night. I accidentally left my phone in college too. Mysteriously, it ended up in 3.14 as well. I was foolish back then. I came alone around midnight and there is this green ghost who has a grudge on any Taylorian. He killed me. Now my soul is condemned to be in Taylor's forever.
Mun : Oh my...*tears on the eye*
Seng : You poor thing... Hey, just now in Physics Lab 4, we were attacked by that thing too. But we're still alive. Why didn't he kill us?
Alex : I don't know... I was too afraid of him to fight him. But fortunately, he left the two of you there without hurting any of you. I took that opportunity to transport you up here.
Seng : Oh...thank you so much Alex.
Mun : *wipes tears* Hey there's my phone! Lets get out of here. Sunny are you coming with us?
Alex : No I'm afraid not. My soul will be stuck in my phone forever. I don't know where is my phone now. I cannot reincarnate without finding my phone. So I'm stuck here forever.
Seng : Hey don't worry man. I'll definitely try to find your phone as soon as possible so you can rest in peace. But our priority now is to escape alive to fight another day. We have to eliminate this green ghost somehow.
Alex : Agreed. I can't sense his presence yet. I think its safe for you two to run now. RUN AS FAST AS POSSIBLE!
Mun : Sunny!.....
*Seng pulls Mun out and started running downstairs*
11:48pm
Mun : Come on Seng...only a few more steps and we'll reach the gate.
Seng : *gasping for air* yes I see the guardhouse....
Green Ghost : Leaving so soon?
Mun : HELP! SECURITY! HELP US!!!
Green Ghost : Nobody can help you now...look around you!
*as Mun turns 360 degrees at her position, 7 bodies of her friends and security guard are floating at the midst of space, each died in a hanged manner but cause of death ranges from eaten torso, smashed head to even loss of lower half of the body....*
Mun : *SCREAMS*
*suddenly, everything appeared to have ceased for a moment, as if the Universe stopped revolving at that moment*
Seng : Listen...I'm going to do something very stupid now...and I want you to run as fast as possible to the gate....Here's Ivan's car keys. I know you don't have license but you'll have to do it. I know you can do it. Alright?
*Seng charges toward the ghost and attempts to attack it*
Seng : RUN NOW!
*Mun, crying and feeling useless and sad, runs like her life depends on it towards the gate.*
11:54pm
*Just a few inches to the gate, the green ghost appears suddenly in front of her*
Green Ghost : Look at your plumply ol friend there.
Seng : *bloody all over, with his life hanging by the threads* run....run.....run....*died*
Mun : My friends....they're all gone....Why do you do this to us! What have we done to you? You might as well kill me now....I dowan to live already!
Green Ghost : Friends? Friends are useless! When I was barred from The Web, I asked my friends, my best friends, for their student ID so that I can enter. They laughed at me, teased me, stepped all over me. I hate my friends, I hate Taylorians, I hate THE WORLD! If you want to die so badly, let me assist you!
11:58pm
*suddenly the green ghost was knocked off the gate as if something has banged him from the garden*
Alex : Mummy! Run now! I'll hold him back! For you I am not afraid of this lousy green ghost already!
Ivan : Run rabbit run! I won't die for nothing!
Seng : Run now! We will hold him as long as we can. It's ok, don't feel bad for us. Just run! RUN!
Mun : ALEX!!!...IVAN!!!...SENG!!...I'll miss you all!
*so Mun ran towards Ivan's car, started it, and speed off like there's no tomorrow....*
12:00pm
Mun successfully retrieved her phone and fled back home. It was a dark and stormy night. Mun couldn't stop crying while driving in fear. She regrets letting all of her friends die there, and regrets that they choose to die for her survival.
The next day, Mun went back to Taylor's. Coincidentally, her first class is at 3.14. She was early that day so she was the first to reach there. As she sat down there and started thinking about last night, a jumble of ringtones were heard, Krazy + Techno Sex + Careless Whisper, they were Ivan, Alex and Seng's ringtone respectively. She track down the source of those ringtone. She look under the lecturer's computer, and found all 3 Alex, Seng and Ivan's phone there....
- The End -
11:24 pm
Alex : As you all know, I am not very careful with my belongings. Remember Mr. Lai's extra class? We had BBQ that night. I accidentally left my phone in college too. Mysteriously, it ended up in 3.14 as well. I was foolish back then. I came alone around midnight and there is this green ghost who has a grudge on any Taylorian. He killed me. Now my soul is condemned to be in Taylor's forever.
Mun : Oh my...*tears on the eye*
Seng : You poor thing... Hey, just now in Physics Lab 4, we were attacked by that thing too. But we're still alive. Why didn't he kill us?
Alex : I don't know... I was too afraid of him to fight him. But fortunately, he left the two of you there without hurting any of you. I took that opportunity to transport you up here.
Seng : Oh...thank you so much Alex.
Mun : *wipes tears* Hey there's my phone! Lets get out of here. Sunny are you coming with us?
Alex : No I'm afraid not. My soul will be stuck in my phone forever. I don't know where is my phone now. I cannot reincarnate without finding my phone. So I'm stuck here forever.
Seng : Hey don't worry man. I'll definitely try to find your phone as soon as possible so you can rest in peace. But our priority now is to escape alive to fight another day. We have to eliminate this green ghost somehow.
Alex : Agreed. I can't sense his presence yet. I think its safe for you two to run now. RUN AS FAST AS POSSIBLE!
Mun : Sunny!.....
*Seng pulls Mun out and started running downstairs*
11:48pm
Mun : Come on Seng...only a few more steps and we'll reach the gate.
Seng : *gasping for air* yes I see the guardhouse....
Green Ghost : Leaving so soon?
Mun : HELP! SECURITY! HELP US!!!
Green Ghost : Nobody can help you now...look around you!
*as Mun turns 360 degrees at her position, 7 bodies of her friends and security guard are floating at the midst of space, each died in a hanged manner but cause of death ranges from eaten torso, smashed head to even loss of lower half of the body....*
Mun : *SCREAMS*
*suddenly, everything appeared to have ceased for a moment, as if the Universe stopped revolving at that moment*
Seng : Listen...I'm going to do something very stupid now...and I want you to run as fast as possible to the gate....Here's Ivan's car keys. I know you don't have license but you'll have to do it. I know you can do it. Alright?
*Seng charges toward the ghost and attempts to attack it*
Seng : RUN NOW!
*Mun, crying and feeling useless and sad, runs like her life depends on it towards the gate.*
11:54pm
*Just a few inches to the gate, the green ghost appears suddenly in front of her*
Green Ghost : Look at your plumply ol friend there.
Seng : *bloody all over, with his life hanging by the threads* run....run.....run....*died*
Mun : My friends....they're all gone....Why do you do this to us! What have we done to you? You might as well kill me now....I dowan to live already!
Green Ghost : Friends? Friends are useless! When I was barred from The Web, I asked my friends, my best friends, for their student ID so that I can enter. They laughed at me, teased me, stepped all over me. I hate my friends, I hate Taylorians, I hate THE WORLD! If you want to die so badly, let me assist you!
11:58pm
*suddenly the green ghost was knocked off the gate as if something has banged him from the garden*
Alex : Mummy! Run now! I'll hold him back! For you I am not afraid of this lousy green ghost already!
Ivan : Run rabbit run! I won't die for nothing!
Seng : Run now! We will hold him as long as we can. It's ok, don't feel bad for us. Just run! RUN!
Mun : ALEX!!!...IVAN!!!...SENG!!...I'll miss you all!
*so Mun ran towards Ivan's car, started it, and speed off like there's no tomorrow....*
12:00pm
Mun successfully retrieved her phone and fled back home. It was a dark and stormy night. Mun couldn't stop crying while driving in fear. She regrets letting all of her friends die there, and regrets that they choose to die for her survival.
The next day, Mun went back to Taylor's. Coincidentally, her first class is at 3.14. She was early that day so she was the first to reach there. As she sat down there and started thinking about last night, a jumble of ringtones were heard, Krazy + Techno Sex + Careless Whisper, they were Ivan, Alex and Seng's ringtone respectively. She track down the source of those ringtone. She look under the lecturer's computer, and found all 3 Alex, Seng and Ivan's phone there....
- The End -
Once Upon A Time
Once upon a time, there lived 3 people, Alex, Kev and Kevlex.
The 3 of them always compete to see who's lamer, and of course, Alex always come up first place. But of course, Alex has always been jealous of Kev's pimple sized thingy because its 300.5 times bigger than his one. Kevlex, being the combination of Alex and Kev, is so super lame and super small, died at the instance he was born because the doctor couldn't stand it anymore.(ok even the mum shouts kill them all but the doctor was too nice...)
One day, a beautiful angel named Ah Mun accidentally tripped and fell to Earth from heaven. Unfortunately, she landed at Alex and Kev's backyard. Poor Mun. Alex, taking the opportunity that Mun's passed out from the fall, quickly did it...and did it...and did it.... and finally poof.... But Mun didn't wake up cuz didn't felt anything. When she finally woke up 2 hours later, she screamed and puked for another 2 hours after finding out that Alex did such an indecent act. Being an angel, she forgiven him.
She tried to fly back to heaven but felt a very heavy burden on her back. Fear that she might have gained weight, she cried a little. Suddenly, she realised she didn't gain any weight. She turned her head around and saw Kev doing her now. Mun smacked Kev so hard his testicles exchanged places with his eye balls. Poor Kev, always sneezing white liquid from that day onwards.
So once again, Mun tries to fly back. But Alex is furious and horny, he didn't want to let Mun go. So he cast a net to catch poor little Mun so that he can keep her for another day of joy. Mun screamed "SHUT UP...GO AWAY...I DISOWN U"....and Alex died. Mun finally went back to heaven.
Normally, any angel that were involved in any sinful action such as sex, would be condemned to hell. But after few thousand times of physical check up, Mun was found to be still virgin. Heaven has no choice but to let her come back in. And all the angels and mankind lived happily ever after.
P.S. - Hell disappeared momentarily. It is suspected that the 3 fella died and theirs souls went to hell and the devil himself died from their lameness, hence the destruction of hell.
- The End -
The 3 of them always compete to see who's lamer, and of course, Alex always come up first place. But of course, Alex has always been jealous of Kev's pimple sized thingy because its 300.5 times bigger than his one. Kevlex, being the combination of Alex and Kev, is so super lame and super small, died at the instance he was born because the doctor couldn't stand it anymore.(ok even the mum shouts kill them all but the doctor was too nice...)
One day, a beautiful angel named Ah Mun accidentally tripped and fell to Earth from heaven. Unfortunately, she landed at Alex and Kev's backyard. Poor Mun. Alex, taking the opportunity that Mun's passed out from the fall, quickly did it...and did it...and did it.... and finally poof.... But Mun didn't wake up cuz didn't felt anything. When she finally woke up 2 hours later, she screamed and puked for another 2 hours after finding out that Alex did such an indecent act. Being an angel, she forgiven him.
She tried to fly back to heaven but felt a very heavy burden on her back. Fear that she might have gained weight, she cried a little. Suddenly, she realised she didn't gain any weight. She turned her head around and saw Kev doing her now. Mun smacked Kev so hard his testicles exchanged places with his eye balls. Poor Kev, always sneezing white liquid from that day onwards.
So once again, Mun tries to fly back. But Alex is furious and horny, he didn't want to let Mun go. So he cast a net to catch poor little Mun so that he can keep her for another day of joy. Mun screamed "SHUT UP...GO AWAY...I DISOWN U"....and Alex died. Mun finally went back to heaven.
Normally, any angel that were involved in any sinful action such as sex, would be condemned to hell. But after few thousand times of physical check up, Mun was found to be still virgin. Heaven has no choice but to let her come back in. And all the angels and mankind lived happily ever after.
P.S. - Hell disappeared momentarily. It is suspected that the 3 fella died and theirs souls went to hell and the devil himself died from their lameness, hence the destruction of hell.
- The End -
Sunday, November 16, 2008
A Love Story...?
This is a 'tragic' love story of a guy named Alex...
One day, Alex was walking across this restaurant. He saw a beautiful angel in the restaurant. He saw CARMEN. He ran into the restaurant through the back door of the kitchen. He jumped across patches of cooking oil, crawled under chairs and tables, evaded fire burns and sizzling potato chips and even managed to survive from flying knives thrown by the chefs. He got there with a few bruises and cuts. It's as though he had passed through the depths of Hell and managed to crawl out safely even though she was only 5 meters away from the front door. Unfortunately, she checked out from the restaurant and was heading home. Alex quickly ran after her, using all his energy left, pushing every restaurant bouncer away to get to her.
He was almost there. He almost reached her shoulders. He tried to grab her by her shoulders, but couldn't do so. He fell down to the floor. Carmen then looked behind of her, and saw Alex on the floor. Being an angel, Carmen picked him up from the ground. Alex then took advantage and kiss her real hard. Carmen slapped Alex, Alex stood there shocked. Carmen then left that place. Alex just stood there, blur. When he realized he kissed Carmen and got slapped, he cried. It was the second time he cried in his entire life. {First time was when the doctor spank him to make sure he can breathe}
SW and Ivan with their girlfriends then came by and laughed at him.
Ivan said, "See. You cannot kao Carmen wan lar. She got a boyfriend way more handsome than you le."
SW said "Yalar. Alex so LAME. Carmen dun wan LAME guy wan."
Both of them kicked Alex aside, laughing away happily. SW farted on Alex before he left.
Next day, Alex was walking by. Carmen was across the street. Carmen looked at him, ran to him. Alex was widening to arms, waiting to hug her. Carmen then gave him.... A FLYING KICK. His head got damaged and he fell down. Carmen stood on him, using her 6 inch high heels. She tango and step-dance all over him, making him screaming. She then stepped at his 'pimple'. His pimple burst and white gooey stuff comes out. Carmen shouted "Eeeeeeeeeeee..." and ran away from him, laughing.
Then Alex cried once again. This time Joshua was walking by with his 12 sisters. All of them laughed. Josh said "You will never get my pure angelic sister, Carmen wan. Just give up." They walked by and laughed all the way.
Alex got so sad. So he abandoned himself aside and locked himself in his room. He was no longer heard since then.
And they all except Alex live happily ever after.
PS : Alex, you are almost the main character in every storyline of what Joshua, Carmen and Seng Wai. Haha... You should be proud... HAHA
One day, Alex was walking across this restaurant. He saw a beautiful angel in the restaurant. He saw CARMEN. He ran into the restaurant through the back door of the kitchen. He jumped across patches of cooking oil, crawled under chairs and tables, evaded fire burns and sizzling potato chips and even managed to survive from flying knives thrown by the chefs. He got there with a few bruises and cuts. It's as though he had passed through the depths of Hell and managed to crawl out safely even though she was only 5 meters away from the front door. Unfortunately, she checked out from the restaurant and was heading home. Alex quickly ran after her, using all his energy left, pushing every restaurant bouncer away to get to her.
He was almost there. He almost reached her shoulders. He tried to grab her by her shoulders, but couldn't do so. He fell down to the floor. Carmen then looked behind of her, and saw Alex on the floor. Being an angel, Carmen picked him up from the ground. Alex then took advantage and kiss her real hard. Carmen slapped Alex, Alex stood there shocked. Carmen then left that place. Alex just stood there, blur. When he realized he kissed Carmen and got slapped, he cried. It was the second time he cried in his entire life. {First time was when the doctor spank him to make sure he can breathe}
SW and Ivan with their girlfriends then came by and laughed at him.
Ivan said, "See. You cannot kao Carmen wan lar. She got a boyfriend way more handsome than you le."
SW said "Yalar. Alex so LAME. Carmen dun wan LAME guy wan."
Both of them kicked Alex aside, laughing away happily. SW farted on Alex before he left.
Next day, Alex was walking by. Carmen was across the street. Carmen looked at him, ran to him. Alex was widening to arms, waiting to hug her. Carmen then gave him.... A FLYING KICK. His head got damaged and he fell down. Carmen stood on him, using her 6 inch high heels. She tango and step-dance all over him, making him screaming. She then stepped at his 'pimple'. His pimple burst and white gooey stuff comes out. Carmen shouted "Eeeeeeeeeeee..." and ran away from him, laughing.
Then Alex cried once again. This time Joshua was walking by with his 12 sisters. All of them laughed. Josh said "You will never get my pure angelic sister, Carmen wan. Just give up." They walked by and laughed all the way.
Alex got so sad. So he abandoned himself aside and locked himself in his room. He was no longer heard since then.
And they all except Alex live happily ever after.
PS : Alex, you are almost the main character in every storyline of what Joshua, Carmen and Seng Wai. Haha... You should be proud... HAHA
Chosen 5
The world is falling to the dark side. However, there is still hope for mankind. 5 is chosen to manage this blog, and only these 5 that can save mankind from inevitable destruction. Will they take up the challenge?
Those whom I've invited, please do accept, and contribute to this newly formed combined blog. Let's make this the most funniest, lamest and weirdest blog the world has ever seen!
Those whom I've invited, please do accept, and contribute to this newly formed combined blog. Let's make this the most funniest, lamest and weirdest blog the world has ever seen!
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